I’m no closer to understanding this gloriously paradoxical city than I was two years ago. It’s been 0 days since the last building closure for structural damage. (The city even sent emergency alerts last night about the most recent one.)
And at noon on Sunday another second line sets out, one of thirty-seven this season. A social club literally dressed to the nines, a brass band, and dancing in the streets.
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Check out baddy daddy on Soundcloud. I love this artist and his joie de vivre.
On week 7 of a knee injury (preceded by a rolled ankle) and I feel wounded on so many levels.
Obviously physically, with appointments at a general physician, X-rays, physical therapy, an ultrasound, a borrowed cane and most recently a orthopedic doctor and a needle to the knee. No one can say with certainty what treatment will work (if any) or when I'll feel better.
Just rest, ice, heat, elevate, do the exercises and wait.
I'm not young and elastic anymore no matter how much the camera filters lie to me.
Emotionally I'm worried about my family member fighting cancer, four chemo treatments in and awaiting scan results. It's a low thrum of worry every day, for my sibling and the cancer-haver and my nieces. It's feeling supremely helpless, in another country, limited to a weekly Zoom, peering anxiously at the screen for a sign. Of what? Weight gain or loss, more hair or less, puffiness, sluggishness, a stutter, a joke, a smile, a tear. We didn't notice anything before and they were already sick.
The emotional is physical and I'm sure there will be a bodily price to pay for my sibling and nieces. 100%.
Then there is my friend network, my found family, several of whom departed my orbit in a hail of screaming and invective. I'm still quaking, inside. Remembering the ugly words, the nasty tone, the shock and confusion. The confirmation that my deepest worries (my friends hate me, my friends think I'm less than, they despise me, they pity me) -- that my deepest sickest worries are in fact true. I wept on the phone with a mutual who was there too. It's a tragedy in a world of daily horrors and hourly traumas.
I don't want to end with ugliness so let me offer this, a network of underwater cameras that stream live every 5 minutes.
Our gorgeous underwater world: https://www.oceannetworks.ca/multimedia/live-cameras/
Kendrick Lamar dropped a new album GNX and yes I'm old (so what hip hop is for the people) and YES it's fire.
I’ve been helping out at the Words and Music Literary festival the past few days. I have a notoriously hard time sitting still (audio only is a real challenge) but it's been so worth it.
First, several of the folks involved in Seeing Black, the photography/book/multimedia project, spoke and took questions. It was a treat to see and hear Kalamu ya Salaam, Eric Waters, and Chelsea K. Shannon. I bought the last copy of the book immediately and got it signed (to complaints from a crusty OWD I beat out who insisted the Community Book Center RIGHT NEXT DOOR didn’t have it -- PS they do). Sorry not sorry!
There was also a (woefully underattended) screening of Time, a movie about a young Shreveport couple incarcerated for a bank robbery. Fox was released after serving her time but her husband Rob was sentenced to 60+ years. Decades later, both Fox and Rob attended the screening and graciously answered our questions after in an intimate small circle. So grateful for their vulnerability and grace.
All this culture and creativity is inspiring me to dig much deeper in my own writing.
#CONVERSATIONTIPS
@landontalks Attention: all adults table members of the family This is our pre-Thanksgiving adults table meeting where we will discuss things we will and will not do/say at the thanksgiving this year. We are having this meeting early so we can all practice and be prepared. #southern #southerncharm #southernaccent #southernliving #thanksgiving ♬ original sound - Landon
BONUS:
@rupaulofficial Like ashes in the urn it's none of my concern 👏🏾 @Lil’ Kim ♬ original sound - RuPaul
I've been watching a package bounce around for the past week amongst postal service facilities.
Moving Through Network
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
BATON ROUGE LA PROCESSING CENTER
November 7, 2024, 8:36 am
Departed USPS Regional Facility
LAFAYETTE LA DISTRIBUTION CENTER
November 7, 2024, 7:15 am
Arrived at USPS Regional Destination Facility
LAFAYETTE LA DISTRIBUTION CENTER
November 7, 2024, 2:18 am
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
NEW ORLEANS LA DISTRIBUTION CENTER
November 6, 2024, 8:02 am
In Transit to Next Facility
November 6, 2024, 6:44 am
Departed USPS Regional Facility
BATON ROUGE LA PROCESSING CENTER
November 6, 2024, 5:19 am
Arrived at USPS Regional Destination Facility
BATON ROUGE LA PROCESSING CENTER
November 5, 2024, 4:43 pm
In Transit to Next Facility
November 4, 2024
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
NEW ORLEANS LA DISTRIBUTION CENTER
November 2, 2024, 4:03 pm
Arrived at USPS Regional Facility
BATON ROUGE LA PROCESSING CENTER
November 2, 2024, 1:32 pm
Departed USPS Regional Facility
NORTH HOUSTON TX DISTRIBUTION CENTER
November 2, 2024, 7:47 am
Arrived at USPS Facility
HOUSTON, TX 77032
November 1, 2024, 10:01 pm
Accepted at USPS Origin Facility
HOUSTON, TX 77007
November 1, 2024, 8:46 pm
It doesn't feel like a stretch to acknowledge this is a metaphor for how I'm feeling generally.
A friend said mournfully Tuesday night, I feel like I've been lied to. There are no norms anymore.
@tinyviolencetv ♬ original sound - Dedrick Flynn
@atsukocomedy Who’s gonna tell her? 🤔 Why was this the first comedian in mind 😂 props to the band at @DynastyTypewriter for providing vibes! 👕: @Fashion Brand Company #bowlcut #standupcomedy #blue #donthavetime #fy #asian #asiancomedian #billcosby ♬ original sound - Atsuko Okatsuka
@mercurystardust @Airplanefactswithmax What!!! You can reuse a ziptie!!!!? #DIY #Lgbtqia #Trans ♬ original sound - Mercury Stardust
This was me, last week.
A jamboree of writers and musicians hanging out on a gorgeous Sunday, beans and rice bubbling out front, saying hi to acquaintances and 2/3 of lmnl and relishing the creative offerings.
Poetry makes me feel dumb sometimes, but then suddenly it makes me feel, and that moment is everything.
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| lmnl |
Once again, times are tough and it’s hard to know how worried to be.
No one believes anything about the election that is already underway (the polls are wrong, the media is lying) or wait, no, everyone believes everything being spewed out, the conspiracy theories and the bots flooding everything we see and hear.
It’s exhausting and I suppose that too is by design.
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A dear family member is two chemo treatments into a six-treatment regimen and the side effects are already dangerous, nearly life-threatening. They’re hanging in there but the news has been so relentlessly bad. It’s worrisome and exhausting. We spend time on Zoom each week just to see one another and joke around. I keep a private journal and screenshot everything and wonder who I’m writing it all down for? Future me?
It’s not like fiction where I relish not knowing the ending.
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I fell the other day, out of nowhere. Twisted the old ankle and down I went into a patch of grass. The dog I was walking whined in surprise, then stood next to me cronching the treats that had fallen out of my pocket. Stay here, I breathed, willing my legs to stop shaking so I could stand up.
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Where is there respite?
Part of me wants to bear witness, to be in community, but much of me wishes to go to sleep and wake up in February 2025 to a healed world. I just know we won’t get there by accident.
It’s been a fertile week conversationally. Circumstances and an overflowing psyche forced me to abandon my usually rigorous schedule of writing 2 hours each morning into finding scraps of time when I can. And suddenly creativity abounds, I’m nourishing ideas and projects to keep me busy for actual literal years.
What we found in my great-grandmother’s things, 20 years afterher passing.
A deeper dive into the aftermath of the arson murders at the Up Stairs Lounge. A pal and I attended the fiftieth anniversary last year, and can’t stop talking about it.
Inappropriate therapists. I’ve had ‘em. You’ve had ‘em. I have a lot to sort through.
--the weed guy
--the boring one
--the needy one
--the BFF
And, this series of tweets. Got almost no attention (understandably, as Helene bore down and the VP debate bubbled and fizzled). But it’s on my mind. The ole inside baseball of literary fiction, success for thee (the chosen, the moneyed) but not for me.
I still have a day job, 2 volunteer jobs and a part-time commitment to dog walking for an ailing neighbor. So, more to come.
