life advise

Words to live by, from men's tits enthusiast on tumblr. 

"Always dress extravagantly and wear platform shoes if you can. Be nice. ok thats it."

 

burn it all down

Buffalo. 10 beloved souls gone.

Uvalde. 19 beloved children and 2 beloved teachers gone.

The mind staggers, the heart trembles. Burn it all to the ground.

 

a handy dandy link to all bsp stories

Now, find all the busysmartypants story goodness in one place.

BSP stories

beats rhymes life

In other movie news, this documentary about the legendary hip hop performers, A Tribe Called Quest, will calm your mind and embrace your soul. These thoughtful, talented young men have such specific skills and a deep love for music. And you'll find out why this New York City band made a sweetly funny song titled, "I Left my Wallet in El Segundo."

so so good (minari)

In 2020 news, I finally watched "Minari."

Gosh what a film. I'm still thinking about it. As a writer the story arcs pleased me--subtle, telling, not too obvious (I don't think?). The cast is luminous. I remember seeing David (Alan Kim) and Halmoni/grandma (Youn Yuh-Jung ) on a few red carpets. They really are subtle, wonderful actors.

how often do you feel joy?

I'm continuing to read memoirs that stun and dazzle.

Charles M. Blow's Fire Shut Up in my Bones, about growing up Black and bisexual in the American South. He writes directly and powerfully about being abused by a family member, not minimizing the horror, finding the grace and truth within himself. His realization of his skills as a writer is also beautifully and humbly written. 

"These were things that I had to learn to fold tight so that no one could read them. Even now it seemed to me that the world was full of boys like Chester and men like Paul--the ones who looked at me and saw a chance, not a child."

"I had to resort to the most useful and dangerous lesson a damaged child ever learns--how to lie to himself."

"There is nowhere to hide in a small house. I had to make a room within rooms, a safe place midway in the mind, behind seeing and before knowing. There I could resurrect memories and bury secrets."

I'm also about finished with Erika Krouse's Tell Me Everything, which combines true crime, an amateur p.i, a dirty football program and a complicated mom-daughter-abuser triangle. This one hits so close to home that I can only read a chapter at a time. Krouse references psychiatrist Daniel Siegel who writes about making sense of one's past, and people who tell the same trauma story over and over. I'm going to read Siegel and see if it can bring some thoughtfulness to one of my support groups. 

Anyway, to the question: how often do you feel joy? For me, infrequently. But I'm hoping a weekend of music and friends and nature might bring me some.

all new kl duckworth

One of my all time favorites Kendrick Lamar dropped a new album last week. I've only listened to a few songs and of course watched The Heart Part 5. He's mad talented and I'm for sure not his target audience and there are already Important Thoughts(TM), but I'll for sure listen.

It makes me feel like I matter

The owner of a coffee shop in the Central District said this to me the other day. He was telling me about opening a black-owned business on one of the most historic (and most-gentrified) corners in the city, about being welcomed by other business owners, the general air of excitement.

"It makes me feel like I matter."

Yes.

a hil hil hil

Tom Cardy's "Business Man" tik tok. Definitely "Flight of the Conchords" vibes.

the comfort of high fashion

Fashion at this year's Met Gala was enjoyable (despite the sickening supreme court news). It seemed like there were more provocative, risk-taking ensembles across the spectrum. Read Tom and Lorenzo's knowledgeable breakdowns, then start here with sjp wearing an incredible Christopher John Rogers gown.

vax regrets (no not that one)

Feeling some vax regret from last week but not the one you'd think! My primary care doctor talked me into getting my first shingles vaccine a few months ago. She'd been mentioning it and I even tried to schedule it in 2018 or 2019 but there was apparently a vaccine shortage, so I just gave up.

Well here we are in good old twenty-twenty, too, and I said yes to shot#1 and dang, by the end of the day my arm was burning and sore, and I was achy and tired and feverish. Around 9 p.m., I downed Nyquil and limped to bed. The next morning I felt fine, other than the sore arm. So, it was about 12 hours of hell.

The really bad news about the shingles vaccine is that it's also a two-parter. I didn't want to schedule a follow up but I did, and so last week I got shot#2. I did my best to trick my body into shaking it off, chugging Pedialyte and Advil and taking it easy, but once again, by evening my arm was sore and on fire. My whole body felt like old, rusted metal: every movement caused intense pain. I was feverish and also had chills, shivering so badly that I kept shaking off my blankets. I went to bed early after a hefty round of Nyquil, laid down next to a heater, under four blankets and a heating pad and shivered violently all night. By morning I felt better--no more fever or shivering but still sore-armed and meh.

I really hope it was worth it.

both sides-ing us to death

I was up early, after a restless night. As I got ready for the day I listened to NPR for about 15 minutes.

Normally I find Scott Simon agreeable if a little boomer.

But today. Fuck! Our so-called liberal media is killing us with their both sides-ism.

First a story about the leaked Supreme Court memo. Nothing bakes my cake quite like listening to Simon and Ron Elving, two old white men, talking about how DENYING US BODILY AUTONOMY is going to shake out for the political parties. Boo-fucking-hoo for the people in power. One side flat-out fascist, the other, dithering social secretaries trying to keep us all from rioting. It makes me sick.

Next, Simon's story about how Dave Chappelle got tackled at his comedy show. The circumstances are unclear and I'm glad he's ok but Simon stated that his next joke, after the attack, was maybe the attacker was a trans man. And the whole point of the piece, again by a white man, is it's scary to be a comedian. Not that someone with power and a platform continues to make jokes about trans people.

Do better NPR. This is shameful.

the new The Batman

I watched the new Batman movie "The Batman" and while I enjoyed the first hour, the back end of this movie felt like a muddled mess. Then the credits rolled and I realized one of my writing teachers from UW co-wrote the screenplay. 

Awkward!

Well not really. I'm sure he made a ton of money which is annoying af but he's also the kid of a celebrity so. I'll say what I want. He'll be fine. 

It mystifies me that a screenplay plot this awkward and messy made it through presumably all kinds of reviews and edits. Because during and after the movie, I wondered and still wonder, what the hell was that? After a fairly zippy start, it all just felt tired and like check-the-box writing. Lots of talking about plot points from 10 minutes before, a convenient voicemail where a villain confesses to a crime, names names and then loudly murders someone, and a wooden performance from R Pat where he's alternately a sad boi (sans Bat-mask) or a grim boi. He also seems dumber than a box of rocks, always showing up too late to do anything but paw at evidence or haplessly watch as the city explodes.

And don't get me started on the lack of women. Other than the luminous Cat Girl, there's a blond night club worker (murdered early on) and a determined Black mayor (briefly on screen, then shot). 

Even Alfred seems tired. 

I wish I had those 3 hours back. I'd rather watch this again instead.

New story alert: Shot Caller

I have a new story out in the wonderful Garfield Lake Review. This is a fiction short set at a fast food restaurant. I had a lot of fun writing these characters.

Click on 2022, wait for the PDF download, and find me on page 98.