Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Through a window, opaquely

It's just a ride.
I have to remind myself about a thousand times a day.
2010 has been intense.
By that I mean I have had amazement waltz into my life, cool happenstances that I couldn't have imagined a year ago--stories published, good times with new pals and old (feverish and creative, perking up at two a.m., launching art into the world like sure shots with paper airplanes), a month of travels too, boys who taste deliciously of smoke and whisky, giggly nieces, stalwart sisters, loud hot nights at Neumo's and Rebar, drizzly cocktail afternoons--all I can say is sometimes I can't believe it myself.
Then though, I soberly remember the lows, sad days strung together like withered garlands, aloneness, loneliness, wishing I meant more in the world to someone than anyone else in the world, knowing though that this is futile, a fool's quixotic longing.
It's just a ride, and we are all ultimately alone.
Magnificent and humbling truths.

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