having our say

More than 40 million people have voted in the USA already, with just under 2 weeks to go.

Over 195000 in King County alone. I walked to the ballot drop box yesterday morning and there were other people en route to do the same. I took a moment as I put my ballot in the box to wish it well. 

I see photos of Americans determined to have a say, enduring long lines and broken systems and harassment, and it brings me to tears. Let us fervently hope we will be able to evict this horrific criminal family from our house. I want to be with people on Election Night (even though chances are we won't know who prevailed). Also I don't know how to be with anyone during a pandemi. It will not be a night to be alone. 

I remember the night Obama won in 2008. I was at Triple Door with friends and the night was called so early, we had just arrived and were in complete shock. After 8 years of GWB to have it called so swiftly. This was the first political campaign I ever donated to and doorknocked for. I kissed a stranger. We ran en masse out into the street and danced and cheered. It was an unbelievable night. 

However.

I also remember 2016. I started at Central Cinema which was airing results on the big screen, but by the time I arrived, the trend wasn't good and the crowd sat in silent shock. I texted friends nearby to see if I should still come by, but they were turning their TV off, too upset to keep watching. So I walked to the hill and ended up at Bill's Off Broadway. Several friends arrived. We stood at the bar and boo'ed lustily as states turned scarlet on the big screen. Some guys bought rounds of whiskey shots. The election was called. We stood, staring, in a state of sickened shock. How? Just--HOW? 

A friend and I left, upset, threw some things, broke a bottle, screamed into some rando's cell phone video. I awoke the next morning to see my phone full of texts and had this last desperate hope--it was a mistake, a bad dream, a glitch. But--no. No. The nightmare was real.We've been living it.