Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mind games

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my brain. Mostly it feels like I've got about a dozen hamsters churning away up there, working overtime and then some, along with a monkey on a typewriter (or maybe that's just the hangover).
One of my goals for 2010 is to think less and experience more. As a Capricorn and nervy--okay anxious--person, nothing makes me happier than a well thought out plan. But sometimes, a plan becomes a fence, and sometimes you just need to run free.
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I've had some horrendous dentist visits the past few weeks and during the worst of it, I tried to think of people and places that made me happy. One image I kept coming back to was this one, of me and a friend on a dhow off the coast of Tanzania, heading to Bongoyo Island. I was dirty and hairy and hadn't slept in days and my body was covered with bruises from 2 weeks of construction site work but it was an extraordinarily happy moment, a warm sunlit happy day with swimming and lounging and a beach barbecue ahead of us.
I miss Frenchie. We did early morning yoga on the roof of our hotel together, we pulled pranks and drank gallons of konyagi and played dice til all hours and tried to solve the world's problems. She's a rare, lovely girl, and I hope the universe is kind enough to let us meet again.
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I am a lucky girl and have the good memories to prove it. I'm trying to figure out how to make them the video loop in my head, because sometimes the Novocaine just doesn't cut it.

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