more more conversations we are having

These are terrible times, said a speaker at an anti-deportation rally last summer.

Before covid-19.

And I was going to write, "Before the feds and secret police descended our cities," but that isn't quite correct. They have been in our cities, they have just been rounding up brown people without citizenship papers. Now that it's white people, now that a white mayor of a white city was tear-gassed, it's getting more attention.

*

In any case.

I feel a sense of disbelief at the conversations we are having. I have written about this, and the words and topics and sense of uncertainty continues to evolve, or devolve.

--Is it time to go?

--Where are we on the continuum?

I recently ordered all 3 of John Lewis's graphic novels (rest in power, beautiful soul) and Book 1 recounts his early years desegregating lunch counters and restaurants.

It felt eerily familiar. The slurs. The fear. The violence.The determination.

*

I dreamed last night that I took some time for myself to rest and get some peace, I rented a hotel room and fell into a deep sleep. When I awoke, it was late. My sisters were waiting on me, angry, I was late checking out, and as I ran around picking up my things, I saw that my youngest niece had displayed an array of gorgeous, vintage rhinestone jewelry.

So many treasures and I'd had no idea she had them.

I awoke feeling as though maybe I'm missing something.

I'm just not sure what.