Monday, January 17, 2022

cautiously cautious

It's been a week of birthday and vacation prep. I have a lot of cappies in my life and trying to be festive and also safe-ish is a challenge during year 3 of this sheeit.

****I'm sick of discussing the pandemmy and yet it's ALL we talk about. ALL of us. ALL of the time. Even when we don't want to. It's the text, the sub-text, the meta, everything. Always.

Anyway. 

Last weekend I ordered cupcakes and cookies and spent half a day traversing the city in a Zipcar (sitting at 1/2 a tank and missing its gas card, naturally), delivering treats and saying masked, sidewalk hellos to friends. After last year's lonely trauma I couldn't risk another spiral. And it turned out mostly great! Lots of smiles and air hugs and catch-up chats and one inadvertent merge onto eastbound 520.

Then an hour at a lakefront park with 3 friends, some Prosecco and chocolate popcorn and the remaining cookies. And finally home for Indian food and some family and friend Zooms.

Another day my niece brought me homemade chocolate tarts, piped with white flowers and dusted with edible gold dust. 

There was a moment on my friend's front steps, when we realized we haven't laid eyes on each other in two years. If I think about it I'll cry, I said. 

We just keep soldiering along, vaxxing and masking and waiting for better times, still thinking that they're just around the corner. I want to believe this is true, but it's getting harder to be optimistic. We're radicalized now. The government ain't going to do much, and a third of our fellow humans don't give a rat's ass about anyone else. 

We're all we got.

There's no going back. Only forward. Into what's next.

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