Did I blink and May barreled past like a semi on the interstate?
It was a month of hard -- and heartbreaking -- work, twelve hour days and rushing to enjoy life in the few hours remaining.
And also a 1.5 day road trip to the Mississippi Gulf coast, dodging torrents of rain to make the best of it, hitting up thrift shops and a moldering bookstore, arcades and casinos and an amazing Vietnamese bakery and finally enjoying one damp walk along the beach.
Then, a few days in New York City, to see friends and meet their sweet new baby, an alert four-month-old, eat Mexican food together and laugh; to see NE family and visit the 9/11 museum, and to check out a friend's photography exhibit at ICP and also, oh my goodness, Superfine, the fashion and history show of a lifetime, and the FIT graduate show, and then drinks with a dear Brooklyn punk rocker.
It was also a month of loss, of realizing two friendships that were important to me, one decades long and one more recent, were suddenly uneven and frustrating and floundering and were they maybe not even really friendships? That gut-emptying feeling of ah, so I like them more than they like me. Of feeling foolish and slow and stupid for trusting people with my thoughts, my time, my true self.
Relationships are a gamble I guess, and I'll learn and the hurt will heal but it's hard not to think of these as losses.
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