Saturday, April 23, 2022

whyte men of a certain age can't stand women who take up space and I am tired

Standing on a corner this morning, I watched 2 men run a red light. Just flat out ignore it and proceed through the intersection. One on a motorcycle, on on a bike. 

I crossed and went to stand in line at the coffee shop. This one is a storefront, so you line up along the sidewalk and folks are still mostly masked and giving each other plenty of space. There were 2 people in front of me so I took a spot by the curb. 

Customer #1 finished his business, and walked away. Customer #2 moved up and so did I. 

Then a whyte man of a certain age (let's say 50's) came boogieing down the sidewalk. Jaunty. Short. Unmasked. Stopped in his tracks to look at the pastries in the coffee shop case. Bent over, peered at them. (In the meantime, no eye contact with me or the customer at the window.) The guy took a few steps away, then peered in again at the pastries, as if thinking things over. Then proceeded to stand in front of me, right behind customer #2. 

Huh.

After a moment, I said, Hey dude, I'm in line.

He whirled and walked closer. Oh, I didn't realize you were in line. You're standing so far away, I thought you were just standing there

British accent, I realize, and he's right in my face. Like spitting distance. I indicated customer #2. I'm just trying to give him some space.

The guy came to stand maybe 6 inches from me. Why are you being so aggressive? he said loudly.

Jesus christ. Can you just give me some space? I said, taking another step back.

I don't understand why you're being so aggressive! he screamed. Passersby stared. I didn't know you were in line, you could have simply been polite instead of being so aggressive.

I raised a hand, angry but calm. Please, stop talking to me.

Customer #2 departed so I stepped forward. The man was still screaming behind me about how aggressive and unfair I was being.

The coffee shop folks were extremely solicitous and kind but I was shooketh. I drilled the jerk with a look when I left but I didn't say anything else.

It's clear whyte men of a certain age cannot stand to be simply asked to give space, to yield, to consider others, to cede an inch of their motherfucking dominance. I'm capable of calmly standing up for myself but it's fucking exhausting.

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