the staircase the staircase

I watched HBO Max’s versionof “The Staircase” over the past couple of scorching weeks, and was interested to compare it to the documentary of the same name on Netflix. After finishing the HBO version I started re-watching Netflix, and it’s been interesting. Much as I like Colin Firth, he brings none of the erudite charm I see from Michael Peterson in the documentary. Yes, MP is annoying and a liar, but I can see how he’s able to bring people into his orbit. The Firth MP seems so schlubby and unlikable. A mistake, I think.And no pipe!

Also the focus on the kids’ drama in the HBO version felt like a distraction. Of course Martha and Margaret are conflicted about supporting the man who adopted them but also kind of fibbed about how their mom died. But I tired of the long scenes of them moping, hiding their true selves, which are dramatically revealed later in the series.. It felt too neat.

Both series play with themes of truth and belief, which of course I’m interested in. So much to watch and think about.

ms. marvel

Over the past couple weeks I binge watched "Ms. Marvel" on Disney. I won't link because I don't really care if the Mouse gets more clicks or not, but I have to say I truly enjoyed the series. The story dragged a bit during the family flashbacks and I realized I need to learn more about Partition. But I loved the characters including Kamala herself (adorable Canadian Iman Vellani), the animations, the style, the music, the deep dive into Pakistani culture, and also Kamala's brother played by Saagar Sheikh. 

I mentioned the show to friends on a Zoom call and they misunderstood thinking I said "Mrs. Maisel." Ugh. Please.

206 coolness

Photobucket reminded me I have pictures stored there dating back to 2011.

I can't share them anymore but they aren't terrible. Mostly arty snapshots taken with a digital camera and later a phone, from a time when I was super lonely and would walk around the city just taking pictures and manipulating them on my phone. 

animations

This whole aug(de)mented series by Hombre Mcsteez is cute.

my stubbornness vs timing

A friend dropped off 2 boxes of stuff from my ex's house a few weeks ago. The boxes have been languishing in my friend's garage for a couple of years. I was so bent about how the transfer of stuff went down that I said Absolutely not, fuck all y'all, don't want it, and forgot about the boxes for awhile.

Then I realized my friend was trying to do me a favor and asked if they'd bring the boxes before our 4th of July hangout. I took some time to go through them the following day and found:

--some F-you crap from the x

--a bunch of stuff from my Mom's final days at the hospital, sympathy cards, and her photo albums

--a pivotal journal from Bible college, my days doing a radio internship at KGMI, my mother's first serious illness, and some horrific fights with my father

So, deep meaningful stuff, some of which I re-boxed and put away for viewing some other time

The journal though, this is GOLD. Documentation of me during some incredibly hard and trying times, knowing that what I wrote was for future me. I feel an obligation to use this material, to remember and reflect, to transform my pain and loneliness into something beautiful.

special

I have loved this woman's music for a few years now. Haven't heard all of the new album but this song, "Special," hits me in the feels. As she said on IG, "Fighting for our rights is self care."

I've also been watching "Southside," and it started a lil slow but snuck up on me and became one of my favorites. Set in Chicago at a Rent-to-Own store, it plays with themes of race, gender, poverty, creativity, hustle, police violence and it's laugh out loud by yourself on your couch funny. 

Aaaaand I can't not mention "Abbott Elementary." I resisted for awhile thinking it was a feel-good family drama about school teachers. Ha! It is feel-good and it's also hilarious. The wonderful Janell James as delusional principal Ava pitted against idealistic young teachers including thrice-Emmy-nominated Quinta Brunson, and a host of other characters with purpose and sharp wit. And the kids aren't smart alecky little shits, they're like most kids I know, supremely uninterested in adult life and marginally tolerant of their interactions. A must watch. Cannot wait for season 2.

 

finding joy

Joy feels like a decision these days. To put down the phone, look away from the TV or the computer, to set the mind free and look within or to each other to find something beautiful, funny, interesting, hilarious, wonderful.

Yes, I'm trying to practice this.

This weekend I spent a few hours working outdoors, installing screen doors and pulling weeds and getting a recalcitrant grill to work (the instructions are in Korean but I found a YouTube video of course). Then I just sat for a bit in the sun. The smell of cut grass is indescribably sweet, the most delicious herbal aroma. 

Later, stuck in traffic by a drawbridge closure, I drank cold brew and listened to my favorite wrongfully-convicted podcast, Undisclosed. Then dined on vegan bacon burgers and fries with my squeeze. Not a bad few hours at all.

halfway there

Our little fundraiser is about halfway to our goal of covering two months of rent and bills for beloved Seattle coffee shop ETG. I'm humbled and so thankful to the 51 donors. Please share and give if you can. https://www.gofundme.com/f/friends-of-etg

gofundme/friends-of-etg