yes/no person

I don't think of myself as a yes person.

OK OK I'm a contrarian, I freely admit it.

That said, these are tough times and I'm trying to keep kindness front and center. To others, and to myself.

This whole idea of "we're in the same boat," though. The toxic positivity folks.

Nope. 

That ain't it, not now, not for me. Not even close.

I'm lucky, in so many ways, and I'm struggling. Like most people I know.

This week I checked in with two white ladies of a certain age, former co-workers and people I know (knew) to be educated, kind, and generally well-off. 

One chided me for asking if she was "hanging in there." She hoped we were doing better than that! Life was pretty good. She's been ordering takeout. Her daughter adopted kittens.

The second spent a long time talking shit about diversity training (all they focused on was black people, she complained). And Trump voters ("those people"). I said that those people were my family, and while I disagree with them--vehemently--I also despair. I feel sadness. I feel kindness. I don't know what has happened.

Maybe the I'm fine/you be fine mentality is a kind of protection. If I'm not fine/you're not fine then there are bigger questions to ask.

And I think there ARE bigger questions to ask. 

Let's not stop asking them.