Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Meh

This wall has interested me for a long time. You can peep it along 8th and Olive in Seattle.
On one side of the street are luxury apartments and an upscale restaurant. On the other side it's a much grittier scene, a bodega and grim studios, with possibly the world's grossest Greyhound station only steps away.
Such intriguing duality.
A clue to how a person--yes okay me--could be both sane and thoughtless, charmless and charmant, all at once.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Land on your feet

A new friend helped me balance on an upended piece of driftwood last week.
One minute he was holding on, the next I was on my own, a little wobbly but nobly looking out to sea. If you fall, he said, kick away from the log and try to land on your feet.
I had it, for a minute.
Then a few days later, I fell.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fokus

It's been a week or two of lessons.
Hard-learned stuff, where I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how it is I am so stubborn and idiotic and selfish.
I've had to reassess.
Apologize.
Retreat. Regroup.
It's humbling. And tiring. When do I get to the part where it's easy(ier), where I'm not constantly screwing up?
Wait, maybe I don't.
Can't, and possibly don't want to.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Greenery

In Port Angeles yesterday I was amazed again by the green.
A zillion--yep I counted--shades of green lushness.
It's rain forest country. Ferns thrive in gutters. Stuff left outside molds. Dandelions shoot up to your waist if you're not careful.
Every time somebody complains about the weather (read: rain), I think, you don't get a zillion shades of verdant green without a little rain falling.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The kindness of friends

The kindness of my friends overwhelms me.
Today, for the first time, I scribbled my authorial signature on the flyleaf of a book. Other pals have ordered the Main Street Rag anthology and have asked me to sign their copies too.
It feels weird. It feels great. I'm humbled.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Now I waver

Hanging out in the 316 this weekend was a lot of fun.
And made me come close to losing my nerve.
I lose touch with my connections sometimes, the grandma about to enter her 9th decade, aunts and uncles and a raft of cousins, salt of the earth citizens most of them. I listened to their soft twangs the other day and wondered what the hell am I doing, writing about affairs and dead bodies and existential dissatisfaction.
*
Walking down Wichita's Kellogg Street late Friday night, I looked down the empty boulevard and felt a twist of familiarity.
This is my place, these are my people.
I know them. Don't I? Do they know me?
We share existential alienation as though it the gene that bequeathed us chocolate brown eyes or a knack for fixing things.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fraktur

What with all the good times lately, I didn't want to post about this particular subject, but it's been on my mind all day.
On this date a few years ago, I got married.
On this date a few years later, I told my partner I was scared we were through.
I don't like to think I'm superstitious but I can concede that anniversaries mean something. Remembering means something, even if the something is painful, the end of a shared life, a schism, a tear, a shredding, a shedding, incremental growth, a new name, old problems, a teetering roller coaster of successes and disasters. (And thinking in such +/- terms says something too.)
There aren't many pictures of me from a year ago. It wasn't a time for photographs, although I wish I 'd taken a few. This one, from the Jim Hodges show in Chelsea, probably says it best.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Popsicle stand

My Seattle-centric summer is seguing into plans to skip town for a bit. First I'm off to Kansas, to attend a sweet cousin's wedding and see the fam and roughhouse with the kids and pinch the babies' cheeks and hopefully have some laughs and drinks and dance a little.
*
Then comes a longer voyage, one that requires shots and malaria pills and visas. I've been to eastern Africa before but always with a companion. This time I'm going by myself. I'm excited, and a little bit scared. For a good three weeks I won't have electricity, hot water, Gmail, Facebook, iPod, my laptop or my Blackberry...I wonder who or what I'll miss the most.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

$5 cover

You know I'm not given to gushing but as holidays go, this one was pretty damn amazing. It has been a solidly good, if chaotic summer, and going into the long weekend I felt unsettled, lots of tentative plans and maybes but nothing really for sure. Well, I'm here to testify. I had a great time.
  • Cocktails Friday night with a good pal at Cicchetti, served up by amazing bartender Seth
  • A motorcycle ride to Ballard followed by fish and chips, beer and pool, and then a nightcap at Shelter with a cute boy and his anxious friend
  • Pre-birthday cupcakes Saturday morning with Hammy Smackbooty (HBD darlin', see you soon!)
  • Martinis, dinner and gossip with a handsome pal at Queen City Grill
  • At the Grotto in Belltown later on, I worked the door at a fundraiser for the Gulf: a $5 cover scored performances by Tulsi, Rory Gannon, Kelly Castle Scott, Thad Wenatchee, and late night beats by DJ Limerence
  • Afterward, hashbrowns and crayola art at Beth's on Aurora
  • Sunday was the Evergreen State Fair, a day of horses and piglets, prize canned beets, dog obedience trials (including one over-excited escapee), alpacas in costume, elephant ears + Lopez Island ice cream, and a Ferris Wheel ride with the cute boy
  • Later on, a Negroni at re:public
  • Caught a friend's band, We Say Bang! at the Comet
  • And then came church: dancing at Rebar, kicked off by wickedly talented DJ Brian Lyons, followed by Lawnchair Generals (and heard a rumor Mark Farina peeked in quite late)
  • Monday...a lovely lazy morning, then kicking it over Negro Modelo and spinach pizza with another good pal
  • A friend treated me to the Supremes costume collection at EMP
  • And finally, segue into the evening, gin and tonic, ramen and a valiant waitress at Kushibar
  • Then I went home, did laundry, and pondered my good fortune

Saturday, September 4, 2010

"Your wrong"

I snapped this from the Mercer tunnel wall under I-5.

"I think this world is a perfect world"
Your wrong
~~~~~~~~Sky the infitnite"

What can I add? This is nearly perfect: immediate, direct, misspelled, smudgy, random. A chicory blend of confidence, hedging and starry-eyed obliviousness.


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