Gosh, losing Paul Reubens this week hit me like a punch in the stomach.
It's been somewhat comforting to read others' equally distraught reactions.
Somehow Pee-Wee managed to be creative, subversive, silly, kind, and supremely welcoming.
I've written quite a bit in my memoir draft about how "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" changed my life. And I mean this is the most literal sense. Growing up isolated and religious and discouraged from most forms of creativity, his movie and the TV show exploded into my eyeballs and my mind and most importantly my heart, with the wonderful news that it was OK to be weird and there was a world out there that would accept me.
My sisters and I still watch the Christmas special annually, to the dismay of my millenial and Gen Z nieces.
I guess I'm thankful they didn't need Pee-Wee's lifeline and also sad that they don't know quite how much he meant to us.
As a commenter on the NYT wrote, "Today's secret word is sad."
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